Life sucks

This is probably the worst time of my life. I lost my boyfriend, my cat and my job all in the space of a month. I feel like such a failure, I feel like I have lost everything and I keep picking the wrong jobs. I need a direction and I need love in my life. I'm so lucky to have my friends and my family. They are so wonderful and supportive. But I don't know how I'll survive and get through this. I don't know what to do every day. I have no structure and nowhere to go. I keep having suicidal thoughts and that scares me. I wouldn't do anything to myself but the thoughts are there. I am enveloped in darkness. I just want the light to come.