Jennie's Big Apple Blog

1/3

2011-12-15T07:14:00.001-08:00

Dear blog, I am done with my first semester of grad school. Well, after I have my last class today, I will be. I can't believe it. I am 1/3 of the way toward getting my master's degree! It's been a long, hard road, little blog. Thank you for being there for me, even when I wasn't! You're the best. I am really glad I started you. Wow, the delirium is still with me. I was up till 3am working on a story. And I'm sure it all went to the dogs. Haha. It was a story about dog walking. And now it's DONE. DONE DONE DONE. I'm free! I'm sooo excited to go home and see my family and friends and my dear little nephew. I need respite. Thank you, NYU, for kicking my ass. And getting it into shape.

Hello blog

2011-12-03T09:30:00.001-08:00

It's been awhile since I've posted. I've been so busy with school, and so tired that I now understand the expression "I can feel it in my bones." I no longer know if I'm depressed or physically tired. Probably both. Good times! I'm just looking forward to having a break, to going home for Christmas and seeing my wonderful family and friends. I need to feel loved for awhile. New York City does not provide this kind of love. It does, however, provide a way of forcing one to be completely alert and aware of all that's around you. And I think I have developed a toughness that I could never get anywhere else. Thank you, Big Apple.

Meeting my idol

2011-10-30T20:48:00.001-07:00

I got to meet my most favorite actress a couple weeks ago. Sarah Jessica Parker! She came and spoke to my class. It was such an amazing, intimate setting. She arrived without an entourage, without a bodyguard, just strolled into our classroom with two of my classmates who escorted her upstairs. She was wearing a gray top and jeans and had her hair piled up in a messy bun. My teacher, Meryl Gordon, knew SJP from when she interviewed her for Parade magazine, so they were already acquainted. Meryl asked her many questions and we were all mesmerized. (well maybe the girls more than the guys) She talked about her family, acting a little bit, but mostly about journalism and her experiences with the press. It was fascinating. She talked about how hurtful it is to have untrue things written about her in publications. I think that we forget that celebrities are people too, that they have feelings and become sensitive. We got to ask questions when the interview was over and I asked her how she talked to her children about the media. She had said earlier that every time she leaves her house, the press are there, waiting like vultures to capture her every move. I cannot imagine a life like that. SJP said she talks to her older child about it but not her twins, as they are too young. When everything was over, a few of us got to take pics with SJP. I was one of the lucky ones. She put her arm around me like we were old friends! I will cherish that photo forever. I looked into her eyes afterwards and thanked her and she smiled and said you're welcome. Her eyes are blue and beautiful. I am in love with SJP! She is such a lovely, gracious, warm person and I will never forget that experience.

Friday night

2011-10-23T10:18:00.000-07:00

This Friday night was definitely not the stuff of Katy Perry's song, but at least it was interesting. I was having one of my lovely chronic earaches and decided to go to the ER at 1am, after complaining to my mom. So I head out and proceed to try to hail down a cab for at least a half an hour. I have definitely not learned the art of hailing a cab in New York City yet. Finally, I thought one had pulled over and in my deliriously tired state I ran over to it and flung the door open, and hear a woman scream bloody murder. The cab already had an occupant and I scared her half to death. She looked at me in horror. I stood there for a moment in shock while the cab driver gives me a look that seemed to say "What are you doing you fucking idiot?" I stammered "Sorry! I'm so sorry!" and slammed the door. LOL. The rest of the night was nothing in comparison to that.

Delivery

2011-10-17T08:25:00.001-07:00

So last night I needed to stay up late and didn't feel like going out to get caffeine. So I actually ordered coffee from a deli to be delivered, along with a few other things. I ORDERED COFFEE FOR DELIVERY. How amazing is that? New York City is truly a place where you can get whatever you want, anytime you want.

Smell

2011-10-15T10:10:00.000-07:00

My sense of smell has engaged enormously since I've arrived in New York City. My other senses have as well, but especially smell. I love how I'll be walking somewhere and smell the delicious scent of bread baking, or the smell of pasta wafting from an Italian restaurant, and then in the next block I'll smell urine or garbage. Scents are never dull here.

Top Ten

2011-10-12T05:11:00.000-07:00

Hello blog. I have neglected you lately.

In David Letterman style, these are the top ten things I've learned in New York so far:

1. Don't expect a greeting. People do not say hello in New York City, and if you say hello, it might arouse suspicion
2. Theater is life. The rest is just details
3. Don't make eye contact (you were right Uncle Gene!)
4. It's important to have a sense of direction. Learn north, south, east and west
5. Don't drink anything if you plan to walk for a distance. You will never find a bathroom
6. Learn to be accustomed to constant noise. I've learned to sleep through the sound of traffic and people shouting outside my window.
7. Always have your ID ready, because security guards will not let you into any NYU building if you don't have it, even if they've seen you a thousand times
8. When taking a taxi, always know the cross street for where you are going
9. The weather is so crazy and unpredictable that it's best to be prepared for anything
10. For god's sake, keep moving. If you pause even for a second on an NYC street, there will always be a cranky New Yorker behind you ready to yell "wot are ya doing? Move!!"

2011-09-30T07:33:00.001-07:00

When is it ok to just admit that it's not right?

Subway woes

2011-09-25T14:30:00.000-07:00

So I had a panic attack in the subway on Saturday. Our car stopped for quite a long time due to debris on the track, and I started to panic. I can't imagine what it would be like to be stuck down there for more than the amount of time that I was already was. I can just see the headlines "California girl dies beneath the earth one month after arriving in NYC." Good times! Luckily, that was not my time to go. Later on in the day, a woman actually poked me in the side trying to get me to move inside the subway car. I told my friend and she told me I should have poked her back! Apparently, part of the hazing process of moving to NYC involves getting poked. Next time, I will poke back!

Lovely taxi driver

2011-09-17T18:22:00.000-07:00

Last night I was walking around Tribeca with my friend Cynthia and we were crossing the street. A taxi driver was turning the corner and he came very close to hitting us. On instinct I yelled "Jesus Christ!" The driver then hollered out the window at me, "Fuck you!" How lovely. Welcome to New York! I'm learning that you have to be awfully tough to live in this city.

Speedos and security guards

2011-09-14T13:49:00.001-07:00

Today I was in Washington Square Park and I got quite the eyeful when I saw a man wearing nothing but a green speedo bathing suit, sunbathing on the grass. I haven't seen a man wearing a speedo for a very long time, and I was impressed with his chutzpah in wearing one in the middle of a park, with lots of people around. Kudos to speedo man.

I was in Kimmel this morning (one of the school buildings where I eat my meals) and as usual, I had to run my school I.D. through one of the electronic gates to enter. Every NYU building requires that students show their IDs to go in and out. It's definitely something I've had to adjust to. Today, for some reason, I was having trouble sliding my card through and the security guard called me over. He told me something about how I had to get a new card and I started to freak out, but then he corrected himself. He said "go on, get outta here! you're making me think I'm crazy!" lol. I love how expressive New Yorkers are.

Going postal at the post office

2011-09-04T23:02:00.000-07:00

So my roommate, Kawita, and I each received these little pink postcards from the post office indicating that we had packages waiting for us. Excitement filled us, stuff was coming from home! We decided to make a pilgrimage down to said post office on Saturday. We followed the directions to what we thought was the post office, but there was only a blank building. It turned out that post office had moved down to Canal Street, a few blocks away from where we were. Luckily, it wasn't a deep trek, so we hoofed it on down to a very large post office on one of the longest and busiest streets in New York. We waited patiently in line. When my turn came, I handed the postal worker my little pink postcard. Her reaction? "What is this? Ma'am, I don't know what this is, I've never seen it before." (Imagine this being spoken with a lot of attitude) Being the passive person that I am, I probably would have backed down normally, but hey, I'm a New Yorker now. I'm learning to be tough. I looked her in the eye and explained, also with attitude, that I had received the postcard in my apartment mailbox and that was all I knew. She wanted a tracking number. I didn't have one. At that point Kawita walked up and explained the postcard problem to the woman, in a much nicer tone. I saw the postal employee visibly soften, and we all figured out that the packages must have come to the package room at our building and not in fact to the post office. I was filled with frustration, but also proud of myself for standing up to this rude woman. Sometimes, you just have to have chutzpah.

Soccer mom

2011-09-02T21:47:00.001-07:00

So today I actually "soccer-momed" one of my fellow grad students. A bunch of us had gone on a tour and we were walking back through our neighborhood, and this very nice young man stepped out into the street, narrowly missing a taxi. I grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back and then gave him a lecture that went something like this: "You live in NY now. You have to be very aware of what's going on around you at all times." lol. Not only did I behave like a totally protective mommy, but I acted like I was such the seasoned New Yorker, when I've only lived here now for two days. It made me feel good though, because he was grateful for the help, and I like taking care of people. All hail soccer moms!

Two days in New York City

2011-09-01T20:43:00.000-07:00

I have now been a New Yorker for two days. Although according to Carrie on "Sex and the City" you have to live here for ten years to really call yourself a New Yorker. Whatever! It's been two days in the most amazing, energetic and toughest city in the world. I already feel like a new person and that I was born to live here. I live in a residence hall with a great roommate in Greenwich Village, which is, in my opinion, the coolest neighborhood in New York City (although maybe I'm a wee bit biased!). It's full of cool restaurants and bars and coffee shops. I went to a bar tonight called Jekyll and Hyde. I'm obsessed with the concept of good vs. evil in literature so I had to enter this bar. I ended up making friends with the bartender. God I love the people here! They are all so passionate and interesting and smart.

I also attended orientation today for my program, which was so cool. I'm actually looking forward to attending class next week! We were told we would be covering a big fashion event and then also writing stories about 911. I can't believe I'm going to actually be in New York City on the anniversary. It is so poignant and real and sad. Next Friday I am going to attend a series of panels at school regarding journalists who reported stories for 9/11. There's just so much here, so much stimulation and so much to learn. I love just listening to people on the street. And my favorite quote so far here is "My coffee table is neither organic or tribal." This was spoken by a woman on the street on her cell. lol. Stay tuned!

Delay

2011-08-27T12:18:00.001-07:00

Irene, why must you inflict your wrath upon me this weekend? I was supposed to leave for NY today, but now I'm leaving on Tuesday night. Someday I will look back on this and laugh. There have been so many roadblocks so far that have been involved with me getting to NYU and to NYC in general, that this hurricane is just the icing on the cake.

24 days and counting

2011-08-03T22:23:00.000-07:00

There's just 24 days until I leave for NYC! I can't believe it. I have so much to do it just overwhelms me. I'm realizing what a hoarder I am. Packing is challenging because I'm such a sentimental soul, I hold on to things that bring back special memories. I like that I'm sentimental, but it doesn't help packing as I have way too much stuff! I got myself registered for two of my classes. So far, I am signed up for Storied New York and Press Ethics. I'll be taking one other class as well. I can't wait! It's going to be so interesting to take these classes and interact with other journalism students and just be a student again! Graduate school...it sounds so grownup! I also have been emailing my roommate-to-be and I'm excited to meet her. We will be living in a shared studio on the NYU campus. I'm going to be a dorm rat again! Life is such an adventure. Stay tuned. :)

Growing up

2011-06-21T11:42:00.000-07:00

Now that I'm in my mid-thirties, I'm starting to realize how much I've changed from my mid-twenties. I'm still the same Jennie, still loud and impulsive with the heart of a child. But I'm finally learning to stand up for myself and to ask for what I need or want. Before, I would keep quiet, because I have always been the type of person who never wants to get in anyone else's way or bother anyone. I have always been WAY too concerned with what other people think. Recently, a guy that is interested in me started coming on way too strong, calling me "dear" and telling me how much he likes me, when he's never even met me! I do not appreciate neediness in men. I finally had to tell him back off, you're coming on way too strong. It felt great to be able to communicate my opinion and not feel guilty or ashamed of it. I would rather be alone than deal with some guy who does not pay attention to my feelings. I'm not quite a grownup yet, but I'm getting there! Stay tuned.

My gorgeous nephew

2011-05-16T22:20:00.000-07:00

My beautiful nephew, Trent Zachary Debaeke, was born May 12, 2011 at 7:40am. I'm so incredibly happy and proud of my sister and brother-in-law! Kudos to them for creating such a sweet little baby! He's healthy and happy and definitely the best-clothed baby in the world, with a rockin' nursery! :) I love him so much.

The next phase of my life

2011-03-25T12:20:00.001-07:00

I am moving to New York City this summer! I will be a grad student in the Arthur L. Carter Journalism Institute at New York University, specializing in Magazine Writing. I'm beyond excited. This is the next chapter in my life and I can't wait to start it! I will be a real Manhattanite. :) I'm so proud of myself and for once am feeling happy and excited about the direction I will be taking. More to come!

Anxiety

2010-09-23T23:42:00.000-07:00

Anxiety sucks. I had my first panic attack this evening, while shopping at Wal-Mart. I believe God was punishing me for entering the house of evil. It continued into the car on my way home. I began breathing heavily and felt like I was choking. It was a horrible feeling and I wish this stupid anxiety would just stop already.

Learning to be alone

2010-06-02T11:12:00.000-07:00

It's been nine months now since my 5-year relationship ended. I can't believe it's been that long. I have learned so much about myself in these nine months. When it first ended I was in such a dark place, so depressed and feeling like my world would end. I had no job and he had my cat and I didn't like where I was living. Then slowly, I started to pick myself back up. I started working at Borders again and even started a business and found myself a home. And I am learning how to be alone and to enjoy life as a single person and do what I want to do, when I want to do it. There is something so beautiful and freeing in that. I'm proud of myself for what I've accomplished.

Oh baby

2010-06-02T11:07:00.000-07:00

Darkness falls

2009-12-07T00:14:00.001-08:00

When the darkness falls
I try to light my light
But I fall
I fall, to the bottom of that abyss
I pick myself up somehow
I keep going
But my heart is blackened
My soul is tortured
I no longer feel whole
When will the light shine through?
So that I can feel like even one part
Of myself again

Going veggie

2009-11-25T19:24:00.000-08:00

So I have decided to become a vegetarian, or possibly pescaterian, once again. I have tried it before but am hoping to stick to it this time. I am going to be smarter about it and be healthier and really try to get all of my nutrients in. Last time, I definitely did not give it my all. I am attempting this at the hardest time of year, Thanksgiving and then Christmas to follow. Am I crazy? Can I do it? I'd like to think so!! I love animals too much and my health is important to me, so I want to make it work. I will be blogging about my experiences and hoping to get suggestions and recipes from anyone out there in the blogosphere. Go Veggies!!!

Life sucks

2009-10-08T21:41:00.000-07:00

This is probably the worst time of my life. I lost my boyfriend, my cat and my job all in the space of a month. I feel like such a failure, I feel like I have lost everything and I keep picking the wrong jobs. I need a direction and I need love in my life. I'm so lucky to have my friends and my family. They are so wonderful and supportive. But I don't know how I'll survive and get through this. I don't know what to do every day. I have no structure and nowhere to go. I keep having suicidal thoughts and that scares me. I wouldn't do anything to myself but the thoughts are there. I am enveloped in darkness. I just want the light to come.

Breaking up is hard to do

2009-09-13T20:24:00.001-07:00

I never knew how hard breaking up, or semi-breaking up, really was. I'd never been through a breakup before, but now my serious relationship may be ending and I feel like my heart has just been torn in half. It's such a terrible situation and now I don't know how I can ever move on and love someone again. I never understood how people could say they never wanted to be in another relationship after a breakup, but now I understand why. I can only hope that this will somehow make me stronger and teach me something. Something good has to come out of it.

What I'm trying to learn

2009-07-29T19:49:00.000-07:00

This year has not been going well for me. I had to move back to Monterey after getting laid off from a job in Tahoe, then taking a job here that I hated and getting fired from it, then quitting yet another job. I need to find some happiness and stability, career-wise. Money wise I'm not doing well and I've been fighting my bipolar illness. This week and last week have been especially bad. Getting a bad sinus infection didn't help. All I can think is, these challenges are helping to make me stronger, and when things get better, I'll appreciate those good things more. Right now, I just want to crawl under the covers. Hopefully soon I'll want to face the light of day as much as possible. At least I have good people in my life that I can count on and I'm grateful for that.

The name of the game is the name

2009-06-21T20:43:00.000-07:00

When we enter this world, we are immediately named. The birth certificate is filled out and our identifications are born along with us. Parents pore over baby books for months, searching for the perfect name to christen their unborn child with. Some parents choose family names, some choose the names of famous poets or celebrities or authors, some just pick a name out of the air. But when that name appears on the birth certificate, it is forever part of our identities.

I used to think that I had the worst name in the world. My last name is constantly mispronounced and misspelled wherever I go. I always understood this confusion, as my last name is an odd one. I could not, however, forgive the misspelling of my first name, "Jennie", which is such a common name, in my opinion. Teachers pronounced it "Jeanie, Janie, etc." In my case, Jennie is not derived from Jennifer. I have always been called Jennie, but my father decided I would want a more formal name, so my real first name is actually Janette. So I was cursed with two confusing first names, as well as an odd last name.

All through school, from kindergarten through college, my name was stumbled over by teachers on the first day during roll call. I always dreaded that first day, the day of judgment in which I knew I would be tortured by some strange mispronounciation of my name. I hate calling attention to myself, but I had no choice. I had to correct these educators who meant well but could not figure out the complications of my name.

I worked as a reporter for two newspapers, and once or twice I broke the cardinal journalistic rule of spelling a source's name wrong. It was so terrible that I vowed never to do it again. I asked each person to painstakingly spell out their name, and would even write it down and have them look at it, so that I wouldn't misspell it in print.

Recently, a friend who has known me for years misspelled my name in a message to me on Facebook. I corrected her and then, with years of angst bubbling up inside of me, I angrily posted my Facebook status with something to the effect of "this is how my darn name is spelled, please get used to it."

I wasn't prepared for what happened next. A firestorm of comments from friends showered down upon my seemingly innocent status. Friends began sharing their pain with me, telling me how much worse they had it with their own names. The comments persisted for a couple of days after the posting. Horror stories as well as funny stories burst forth. Some of my friends have common first names but difficult last names and vice versa. Some have not only an odd first name but also a last name. Whatever the situation, I began to realize that I was not alone. It seems that no matter what your name is, someone out there is going to misspell or mispronounce it.

Take my friend Anne-Michelle Meyer Ellis, who I've known since elementary school. She is often mistakenly called "Ann-Marie" and finds that people struggle with her name, because she has a double one.

"My name, understandably, gets spelled incorrectly all the time," Meyer Ellis wrote in an email. "Or they think it's impossible to have two names so they only call me one of them. This isn't multiple choice people!"

My friend from theater productions, Leila (pronounced "Lee-la") Jacobson constantly hears her name mispronounced.

"It's been like that my entire life, and now it's just gotten to the point where someone will say my name wrong and I'll respond without correcting them anyway and my friends will be the ones to correct them," Jacobson wrote in an email. "I just don't bother correcting anyone, unless I'm going to see them again. I think my name doesn't get misspelled so often because people just go ahead and ask me how it's spelled, but I have gotten every name in the book on coffee cups, though, "lela" "leela" "liela", etc."

My friend that I met in London, Misty Summer Plant-Luettgerodt, now a teacher, knows all too well what it is like to have an unusual name, so she is careful with her own students' names.

"As a teacher I dread mispronouncing my students names," Plant-Luettgerodt wrote. "For the first week of school I apologize in advance before I call roll, then write my students names phonetically on the roll sheet. This year I had a student whose name is Kerey but pronounced "Katie" . Some parents are soo mean, I should know, mine named me Misty Summer Plant!"

My college friend, Kim Strong Hayes, experiences the same woes as those with uncommon names.

"I kid you not...I have had to spell out my name. And my maiden name, Strong has always been pronounced incorrectly, and definitely spelled incorrectly," Strong Hayes wrote in an email. "Now how can you get that wrong? Go figure, but I do not have the pain that many others have had, especially with the various and creative spelling of names."

When I posted my message, wallowing in my own self-pity, my friend from high school, Matt Davis, reminded me that I was lucky because my name is unusual.

"At least it's unique," Davis wrote to me in an email. "There's another Matt Davis at my work and I'm constantly getting emails, phone calls and voice mails for him. And I was there first."

My friend Mercedes D. Erdey-Heydorn was given a name that was uncommon.

" Not sure how I got it," she wrote in an email. "They just wanted something different, a name that wasn't common in Hungary during those times."

My former co-worker and friend Kathryn "Katie" Albright's real name is spelled in the more unusual way.

"Yeah, Katherine and Catherine are the most common spellings," Albright wrote in an email. "Trust my mom to name me Kathryn, lol. I love my spelling, though, but I could almost never find my name on mini license plates or pens or necklaces."

My friend

Dominique Maldonado has to deal with a very different pronounciation of her name.

"With my name, Dominique Maldonado, I've gotten the wrong pronounciation of Domenic Maldenagdo," Maldonado wrote in an email. "I am like, no that is sooooooo wrong. No cookie for you!"

My college friend Jacqueline Anne Beaulac-Korntved has given up on people ever getting her name right.

"Try having the name of Jacqueline Anne Beaulac-Korntved...the only part that people can get right (and even that's pushing it) is the Anne, but usually that's spelled without the "e", Beaulac-Korntved wrotte in an email. "Go figure. I've just given up that anyone will EVER be able to pronounce or spell my name correctly. Ah well."

When all else fails, get yourself a nickname. That is what Misha Ruffin, my high school friend, had to do. She nicknamed herself with the simple name of "Bob."

"When we were in high school I went to pick up my tickets to the winter ball. At first they couldn't find them," Ruffin wrote in an email. "Then the lady found something that said '"Kasmine Buffin."' She told me those were my tickets. At least you didn't have to change your name to "Bob" in order to keep folks from saying your name wrong, let alone spelling it. lol."

My friend Kelly Marion Potter was often mistaken for a man, because her name was more associated with males when she was named.

"Now it is associated more with females. Back then, my four-year-old sister chose my name from a male baby name book. Mom liked that it meant "fighter." Now, "Warrior," Potter wrote in an email. "Hey, a name can really shape a life, eh?"

After reading all of these stories and sharing in my friends' pain, I realized that everyone has a tough time of it with their names. I started out writing this article hating my name, but now I've gained a sense of pride. I love my name, no matter how unusual it is. It is a part of me. But I do think it's vital to spell or pronounce someone's name right, so do me a favor, take the extra thirty seconds to figure out the correct spelling or pronounciation when you hear a new name. That person will be forever grateful.

Pinkberry!!

2009-06-06T19:03:00.001-07:00

Nick and I went to Pinkberry for the first time today! I had been wanting to try it forever. All of the celebrities love it. lol. Anything that celebrities love, I have to try! We went to the one at Santana Row in San Jose. This is a green tea frozen yogurt. It was yummy! I see why Pinkberry is so popular, it's delicious but also healthy and they put fresh fruit on the yogurts as a topping if you order it. Yay Pinkberry!

Another random pic

2009-05-30T10:41:00.000-07:00

I'm obsessed with fountains and chandeliers. I just think they're so cool. I could stare at them for hours! This fountain is located in the courtyard of the building where I get my eyebrows waxed.

Kitty undercover

2009-05-29T00:11:00.001-07:00

Kitty just loves going undercover....so cute!

Random pic

2009-05-28T17:20:00.001-07:00

I like to take pictures of random things. I was walking on the recreation trail in Pacific Grove and saw this. I'm thinking it's a well, and I loved the Mona Lisa faces all over it. So cool!

I want to be a grower

2009-05-28T15:47:00.000-07:00

My friend Jenny suggested that I grow little plants in my apartment. I've never been much of a plant person, but I did have a small one that I grew on a windowsill before, and I loved it. I have to make sure the plant/plants are non-toxic to cats though, so I printed out a list of plants that are toxic and obviously I will avoid these. I'm excited to grow some little babies in my home!

2009-05-24T17:20:00.000-07:00

I feel a little lost in life. I'm trying to find a direction, work-wise, and it's difficult. I know that I want to write for a living, but that has not proved successful so far. I just wonder when I'm going to feel complete and find a career that I really love.